back to the garden
by irnan
Summary: collection of ficlets pertaining to the Skywalker family; could be called a companion piece to 'though all my kingdoms turn to sand'
1. of rainbow gold and moving house

_this is a disclaimer._

_**AN:** outtakes from the **swallows and amazons verse.**_

**of rainbow gold and moving house (luke, the solos, chewie, and a change)**

Their first afternoon on Yavin IV, it rains.

Well, it's not their first afternoon, obviously, cause they've been here before, loads of times, but this is the first afternoon they've been here and known they didn't have to leave again soon.

Or, in fact, ever.

Mom and Dad and Chewie are still unpacking and bickering cheerfully about how to put the shelves together, so of course they had to sneak off. They didn't even want to talk to Uncle Luke; this is _their_ First Day.

Later on, after they've stopped being intrepid adventurers on the hunt for hidden gold in the upper levels of the Temple, they start being hungry kids just long enough to eat their pilfered sandwiches on a window-sill where they can see the rain still falling, although it's all much more cheerful now because the sun's out too, and the world is lit up in warm golds and reds and gray-blues. Heavy clouds hang low over the Jedi Academy, sweeping across the sky like the hangings on the ceiling of the ballroom of the palace on Coruscant. The raindrops sparkle in the rich, heavy glow of the early evening sun, and a rainbow is forming over the treetops.

Jacen takes a thoughtful bite of his sandwich. "Dad says that on Selonia, if you follow a rainbow back to the end you'll find a pot of gold," he says round a mouthful of ham and cheese.

Jaina swallows in a hurry, instant enthusiasm. "Let's go look! Quick!"

But Anakin frowns, sandwich crumbs spilling down his front. He's been making his way around his sandwich with methodical thoroughness, eliminating the crusts before getting to the good bit, and there's a bit of butter at the corner of his mouth. Jaina feels very grown up when she leans over and wipes it away with her thumb like Mom does. "Are we allowed to go alone?" he asks. "Maybe we should take Dad."

"Maybe we should take Dad and Mom and Uncle Luke and Chewie," Jacen says. "We're not really tall enough to carry pots of gold."

Jaina brushes her hands off with a sigh. "Fine. But I'm Head Explorer!"

"No way!" Anakin says. "I saw the rainbow first!"

"Little brothers don't _get_ to be Head Explorers. _I_ knew about the gold," Jacen says indignantly.

"Well, you're a little brother too, nerf," Jaina says. "I'm oldest. I'm in charge!"

"But –"

"Don't start, Anakin," Jacen says. "Mom can choose a Head Explorer 'fore we go."

Anakin pouts and Jaina looks irritated, but they both agree.

* * *

Leia wakes him up the morning after she and Han and the kids move in to their new apartment by perching on the side of his bed and waving a cup of caf under his nose tantalisingly.

Luke reaches for it blindly and sits up.

"Our Mother's name was Padmé," his sister says, handing it to him.

Silence at first; Luke gulps down half the cup before he answers.

"Padmé. It's – it's pretty."

"It makes me think," Leia says thoughtfully, "that she liked to dance."

Luke gives a snort. "Picture Father waltzing."

Leia laughs.

"We could look for her," Luke suggests at last, softly. "She might have been a Jedi – Tionne's just got permission to extend her work at the Temple on Coruscant for another three years."

Leia considers this for a moment, turning it over in her mind.

"Do you want to?"

Luke shrugs. "I don't know," he says. "On the one hand, yes. On the other hand..."

"Things are good," Leia says.

"Things are good," Luke agrees.

They've worked hard to find this equilibrium. They can stand to wait a while before they unbalance it again.

* * *

"And if there's anything else her Worship'll have to go fetch it herself," Han says, dropping the last box on the table with a clatter from inside it and a sigh of relief.

Chewie doesn't believe him. Han snorts, but he's not about to admit he's probably right.

He drops into a chair and props his feet up on the box he's just carried up from the _Falcon_ and lets his head fall back so he's looking up at the ceiling: it's a nice ceiling, plain and unadorned, which is more than can be said for the elaborately-carved ceilings in their old apartments in the Palace on Coruscant – not that they've actually gotten rid of said apartments. They're just locked up with all the blinds drawn and covered in dust sheets.

Han turns his head and looks over at his friend.

_Let me know if you ever start feeling useless._

"Why would I start feeling useless? _How_ would I start feeling useless? There's all this to do." He waves a hand languidly at the unpacked apartment. "And the kids. And I'm technically still a General in the NRA, you know."

Chewbacca looks amused.

Han shrugs. "That was a long time ago."

_A very long time._

Han smiles faintly. "Yeah."

The apartment door slides open and Jacen barrels in with his hands full of empty sandwich boxes: "Dad! Dad, quick. We're conscripting you and Chewie on an exp'dition to find rainbow gold!"

Han sits up straight and gives Chewie a look. "_Useless_," he scoffs.

Not likely.


	2. of family matters

_this is a disclaimer._

_**AN:** outtakes from the **swallows and amazons verse.**_

**of family matters (luke, wedge, and a confession)**

"A pernicious rumour has reached my ears that Leia Organa's been going around telling people she's your sister since the battle," Wedge says thoughtfully to the whiskey bottle.

"That's because she is," Luke says, taking it off him.

"Huh. Since when?"

"Well, anywhere between two minutes after I was born and an hour or so, I guess. I mean, we're twins, so it's a little hard to tell – just, whatever happens, don't believe her if she tries telling you she's older. That's _manifestly_ untrue."

Wedge nods. "Manifestly. Yeah."

Luke nods back and takes a swig. The whiskey burns his throat going down and sets a pleasant glow in his belly, making his head feel both heavier and lighter than before, and he rests it back against the tree trunk behind him and closes his eyes against the firelight and the stars above and the fireworks and the streaks of burning Death Star debris still smudged across the sky.

"I guess we should try making amends for that pool about her and Han, then," Wedge says at last.

"Unobtrusively," Luke says, eyes still closed. "If she finds out there'll still be hell to pay."

Wedge chuckles. Takes a drink, gasps and sighs contentedly, shifting so their shoulders are pressed against each other.

"Vader was my father," Luke says.

Wedge turns his head. "Your _father_," he repeats, much as Leia did. And then, after a minute, "Hell's teeth."

"My father. Yeah."

"High Command are gonna love that."

"I'm not convinced it's any of their business."

"Probably not."

Luke opens his eyes and looks at his friend. "Is that all?"

"You found out at Bespin, didn't you," Wedge says, statement not question. "Whaddaya want me to say? You're Luke Skywalker. You – _we_ – ah, dammit. I'm too drunk for this. You _know_."

Luke sighs. "Yes," he says softly, "yes, I know," and for the first time since Bespin he's sure he's telling the truth.


	3. of apprentices and slips of the tongue

_this is a disclaimer._

_**AN:** outtakes from the **swallows and amazons verse.**_

**of apprentices and slips of the tongue (jaina and mara)**

"So um. I wanted to ask you something," Jaina says.

"Ah, hell. Is this a boy thing? Mirax told me there might be boy things that you might not wanna talk about with your Mom, but look, Jaya, I'm not really – maybe Winter Celchu would be better with this stuff."

"It's not a boy thing, Aunt Mara. It's a Jedi thing."

"A Jedi thing? Shoot."

Deep breath. "I'd like if – I wanted to ask – would you train me?"

Mara goes still. "Jay, you know I've only been a Knight for a few years."

"Yeah, yeah. I was at your Knighting ceremony. You must be the only Knight in the Order who got snogged by the Grand Master –"

"I _better_ be the only Knight in the Order the Farmboy's snogged."

Jaina giggles. "But will you? I talked to Mom and Dad. I mean, Raynar keeps spouting some pretentious bantha poodoo about how you oughta be trained by someone who's different than you are so you can learn to appreciate the qualities you don't have yourself, but as far as I can see that didn't work out so well for Grandfather and Obi-Wan, and. Mom and I don't always get each other. And I think you and I would. And I want – I'd like to be trained by a woman."

Mara's silent. "You've put a lot of thought into this, haven't you."

Jaina nods.

An apprentice. Just the other week Luke asked her if she'd ever thought about taking one on, and the truth is: no, she hadn't before, but she has since he asked. He always says he learned almost as much about the Force while teaching Leia as he did when still an apprentice himself, that there's something about seeing things from the other side, having to explain them, having to adjust your view and experience of the Force to someone else's that gives you so much more insight.

And here there's this short, scruffy fifteen year old with engine grease on her jacket and scrapes on her knuckles and an anxious tilt to her mouth who wants Mara to train her, and when Mara looks at her she can still see the baby Leia used to drop into her lap every time she came over in the aftermath of Wayland and the confrontation with C'baoth; this smart-mouthed girl with a knack for mechanics who's more responsible for making Mara into the person she is today than she'll ever know.

"Well. I guess." She holds out a hand. "We can bring each other up."

Jaina smiles brilliantly. "It's a deal."

They shake on it.

"Hey, Jaya?"

"Hmm?"

"_Grandfather_, huh."

Jaina sticks her nose in the air. "It was a slip of the tongue. I admit nothing."

Mara laughs.


	4. of determination and redheads

_this is a disclaimer._

_**AN:** outtakes from the **swallows and amazons verse.**_

**of determination and redheads (ben skywalker, jysella horn and a climbing frame)**

Jysella Horn's first clear memory of Ben Skywalker is this:

Eight years old and finally big enough to be allowed on the climbing frame in her favourite park on Coruscant without any supervision; last time she was here she was still six. Valin, at fifteen, is far too old for such childish pursuits as climbing frames, and he's slouching against the bright blue railing some distance away, looking glum and put-upon.

If that's what it's like to be a teenager, Jysella thinks she'd rather stay little.

Anyway, she's sitting on the climbing frame kicking her new boots and admiring the way they glint in the sunlight when she swings her legs forward enough and out of the shadows. There's a red-haired kid standing just below her all of a sudden, maybe four or five – just a baby.

They stare at each other.

"C'n I c'm up?" he asks, swallowing his vowels oddly; he's chewing a sweet.

Looking back on it, Jysella supposes she must have been annoyed by something. Certainly she snapped at the kid.

"Babies can't climb!"

The look on his face changes instantly from curious and eager to flatly determined, mouth thinned, brows drawn together. Jysella can't help but think he looks adorable.

Twenty-two years later, proposing to her on a Corellian beach in the moonlight while the family reunion picks up speed (and noise) behind them, he's wearing the exact same look.

(This time, Jys tells him how cute she thinks it is.)


	5. of force ghosts and pancakes

_this is a disclaimer._

_**AN:** outtakes from the **swallows and amazons verse.**_

**of force ghosts and pancakes (jysella and jaina)**

("Jys, there's someone I want you to meet," Ben had said nervously, and tugged her into the apartment before she could ask the obvious question.

He was tall, this someone, about the same height as Ben himself, but broader. There was power in those wide shoulders and a look about his eyes Jysella thought she recognised: military, used to being obeyed. Wide mouth, and a nose she thought she'd seen before.

Beside her, Ben was twisting his fingers through hers anxiously. He really wanted her to like this man, she realised.

"Hello, Jysella," the stranger said, smiling. "I'm Anakin Skywalker.")

"You look a bit like you've seen a ghost," Jaina says shrewdly when they sit down together in the diner.

Jysella jumps and stares at her for a moment. Then, cottoning on, she says disbelievingly, "You knew?"

"Ben came to us to ask if he could introduce you to him. It was a joint decision."

"Us?"

"The six of us, together."

"Vader's grandchildren." She can't keep the bite out of her voice.

Jaina raises an eyebrow. "His name," she says flatly, "is Anakin."

"Dear Force," Jysella says helplessly. "You. All of you! How long?"

Jaina doesn't answer immediately; the serving droid buzzes up to their table and takes orders for caf and pancakes, and only when the caf has come does Jaina take up the conversation where they left it.

"All our lives. For a lot of years he'd just sort of... show up. On the edges of our awareness. Then, when we were ten, Jacen broke his arm falling out of a tree. Grandfather sat with him till Mom and Dad got there. That was the first time he spoke to any of us. Maybe he needed to learn how to do it; or maybe he had to wait until we had a certain level of training. I don't know."

Jysella sinks her head into her hands: it's pounding already. "You seriously don't think that's a little creepy? Darth Vader's Force ghost is stalking you."

Jaina glares. "Our grandfather is keeping an eye on us," she says coldly. "Look, I understand this is weird for you, OK? But Ben wouldn't have introduced you if he didn't think that you could handle it – and more to the point, if he didn't think that you could look beyond the whole 'former Dark Lord of the Sith' thing, just like the rest of us."

Jysella looked straight at her. "Does Jag know?"

Jaina shrugs. "I think he might suspect. I've never told him."

"Why not?"

"I've never wanted to. It's precious, this. It's ours."

And there it is: _ours_. Total exclusion of anyone not born with Skywalker blood.

Jysella wants to fling herself to her feet and bolt for the door, never to come back, but: Ben introduced her to him.

Jaina is playing with the paper bag of sugar she never puts in her caf, twisting it between her fingers. It rattles and scrapes, barely audible over the hum of talk and clatter of dishes in the diner.

Their pancakes arrive. Jaina drenches hers in syrup, digs in, has made impressive inroads before she speaks once more. "I love him – Jag, I mean. I trust him completely. But there are some things..." she trails off, waves her fork. Syrup drips on the table-top. "There are some things," she repeats. "It just doesn't work like that."

Jysella wants to know what in Sith Hell it is that's supposed to work like what, but her mouth is full and the pancakes taste really good and somehow she's calming down.

Jaina calms everyone down, on the principle that as long as she can handle it, there's nothing to worry about.

She sighs. "Then it doesn't bother you?" she asks. "The Vader thing?"

Sharp look from the other woman. "Of course it bothers us. When we first found out about Grandmother none of us could look at him for a month. Every time Tionne or Tahiri stumble across some snippet of what he did to the old Order I want to call him down here and pound on him with a lightsabre and I don't kriffin' well _care_ if he's not corporeal. The first time I set foot in the ruins of the old Temple here on Coruscant I had to leave within ten minutes and spent the next half-hour throwing up in an alley."

"But?"

Faintest of smiles. "He came back."

Jysella swallows: close to breathless. "Is that enough?"

Jaina's eyes very calm. Very confident. Oldest of them all, first child born to that long-gone group of kids who brought down an Empire by being stubborn and determined and loving each other enough to come back for one another, over and over, to try and try again and prop each other up when they failed: unquestionably in charge of the motley crew of Knights and pilots and diplomats and NRI officers and half-grown adolescents that make up what they all privately think of as the second generation of the Alliance. Half the time the HoloNet can't even get straight which of them belongs to which branch of the Extended Family.

Because, when push comes to shove, that's what they are. Their parents went through too much together, and the stories have come down to them and held them close and bound them together: insubstantial as memory yet thicker than blood.

"Yes."

("I just wanted to say," Jysella will say a week later. "I mean. You'll probably think this is a bit presumptuous of me, but. You're welcome. To visit, I mean, I – I'm not saying I find it. Easy. But..."

Anakin Skywalker will tuck his thumbs into his belt, slightly awkward. "Thank you, Jysella. I appreciate – that is, I would have understood. Thank you. And Ben –"

Jysella will smile. "Yes," she'll agree. "Ben."

Ben's grandfather will grin at her, and the next morning, when Jaina cons her into babysitting Davin and Tor for a few hours and the boys jump on her and demand if she can't let them off wearing smart clothes for her wedding, Jysella will realise where she's seen that nose before.)


End file.
